If I could do it all over again
by Lemonygoodness12
Summary: Bella and Edward have a one night stand. Or so they think. Bella is pregnant, and Edward Dad is furious at his sons carelessness. Now Edward must help Bella day and night through the pregnancy. But does he have a secret? AH AU LEMON! BxE Summary sucks.
1. Hotter Than A Baby In a Frying Pan!

**Hello, readers! I know this may seem like the movie knocked up, but it is no way intentional. I have not seen the movie so I don't know what is and what isn't like it. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!! Oh, and I have quotes for each chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Twi characters, but I do own Rose. It all belongs to SM**

**Quote: That's why you use a condom **_**and**_** the pill. Guys are just not responsible, you can't blame them, it's just their nature. **

**-Anna Finch (1987-**

Hotter Than a Baby on a Frying Pan!

"And you said we wouldn't have any fun!" Alice scoffed from next to me on the barstool. I arched my eyebrow and gave a skeptical look.

"Yeah, sitting in a club on a Friday night while sweaty guys rub them selves against me," I scooted away from the obese man next to me. "What a blast."

"Come on! Lets dance!" She yelled and towed me into the crowd. Alice started jumping around and flailing her limbs around.

"Since when did spazzing out qualify as dancing?" I yelled over the music and laughed when she scowled at me.

"Alright, since you seem to be the Dance champ here, lets see what you've got." She challenged, raising her eyebrows up and down. I rolled my eyes and started to back away. "Holly…Dang!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, staring with impossibly wide eyes at something behind me. I turned to see a _very_ attractive guy leaning on the bar, talking to some blond bimbo.

"Holly Dang, indeed." I murmured as he laughed something she said, running a hand through his bronze locks. Alice swallowed loudly and practically floated over to them.

"Umm, hi." Alice said with a smile that would make a puppy cry.

"Hey." The guy said, arching an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, but I _swear_ I know you from some where!" She said, tapping her chin like it was a huge mystery.

"Doubtful, I just moved here from Chicago." He said, shrugging his perfect, broad shoulders. Yummy.

"That's it! I used to live in Chicago!" B-ull-shit. "Oh, you're name is at the tip of my tongue!" She rubbed her temples and squinted her eyes. He smiled and helped her out.

"Ed-" He started, coaxing her along with his hands.

"Ed….mund?"

"Nope."

"Edward?" Lucky guess.

"Yeah." He smiled again and I had to remind my self to breath.

"Look, we were just in the middle of something, so, if you would excuse us." The blonde said, pursing her glossy pink lips and glaring at Alice.

"Excuse you." Alice smiled and turned to Edward again. "Anyway, when did you move here-" The blonde gave Alice a shove.

"I said, we were in the middle of something." She snapped. Alice narrowed her eyes and crouched slightly.

"Oh, you'll be sorry for that, bitch!" She snarled and raised her fist to punch her.

"OKAY!" I yelled, grabbing Alice's fist from behind. "That's enough." I started to pull her away.

"But-but-but…" Slice struggled in my grasp.

"Sorry, she's had more than enough to drink tonight." I grunted, trying to contain the little ball of furry. Edward looked up at me, noticing me for the first time. He had green eyes. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

"Here, I'll help you with that." He said, pushing the blonde out of the way to help me escort Alice outside.

"I'll tear you apart!" Alice screeched before the doors closed behind us.

"I'm calling you a cab." I growled under my breath.

"You're not coming?" She smiled wickedly.

"No, I'm gonna spend some time with your boy candy. Ha." I said smugly, sticking my tongue out at her. To my surprise she laughed and jumped up and down in excitement.

"Yay! Bella's getting laid!" She yelled out. Loudly

"Shhh! I never said that." I whispered sternly.

"Oh, come on. You know you want to. He's hotter than a baby in a frying pan!" She squealed and stole a glance at Edward as he waited patiently for me by the door.

"Hotter than a baby in a frying pan? You really are drunk." I sighed and took out my phone, calling a cab.

"Go talk to him!" She whispered and shoved me towards the B-E-A-utiful man. I grumbled profanities under my breath as I approached him.

"Uh…hi." I shifted nervously as he turned his emerald gaze to me. "Sorry about that, I probably ruined your date."

"Don't worry, she was annoying any way. You seem a lot more interesting." He smiled slyly. Brain. Brain? Where are you, Brain?

"Uh…. I…. umm…" I stumbled for words as his smile got wider and wider. He probably thought I was mentally disabled or something.

_Well, you're acting like it!_

"Bye, Bells!" Alice yelled before diving into a cab. I shook my head and tisked at her.

"Wanna get a drink?" He asked, eyeing my chest conspicuously. He won't find much there.

"Oh, what the hell." I sighed and fallowed him inside. Loud music was still thumping around us, matching the rhythm of my heart.

"Gin and tonic." He told the bartender before turning to face me.

"Same." I murmured and took a deep breath.

"So, What's your name?" He asked. I smiled and looked down, glancing up at him through my lashes.

"Bella Swan. You?" Though I already knew his name.

"Edward Cullen." He shook my out stretched hand, smiling slyly. "You come here a lot?"

"Not, really. My friend just dragged me along tonight." I shrugged, still smiling.

"I'm glad she brought you." He murmured and I felt heat rush to my face. "Nice meeting you." He added.

"Nice to meet you too." Boy was that an understatement.

**3 hours later**

Edwards hands snaked up my shirt as he pinned me against the elevator wall, lavishing my neck and chest in open mouth kisses. My fingers gripped his shoulders tightly and I arched my back to press against him. A groan escaped his mouth and my breathing hitched.

We couldn't get down the hall to his apartment fast enough. I was sure to have a bruise on the back of my head in the morning from the way he slammed me into the door as he fumbled to unlock it wile his mouth was still attached to mine. Our tongues danced together in an intoxicating rhythm. He tasted sweet, like a pixie stick.

_Thank god I shaved my legs_

I vaguely recalled the door slamming behind us as he hooked my legs firmly around his slim waist. His hair was in wild, bronze disarray and his eyes were hooded lustfully, he looked positively delicious. I smiled sexily and bit my swollen lip causing him to moan and dive back in for another kiss. A giggle escaped my lips as we crashed onto a bed, making pillows fly in every direction

"You are so gorgeous." He murmured, tracing my collarbones with the tip of his finger.

"Right back atchya." I said with a wink, receiving a heart retching smile from the god that hovered above me. His long fingers gracefully undid my blouse, exposing my black and pink bra. His eyes widened, as did his grin.

"Me likey." He murmured before showing my exposed cleavage in kisses. I quickly ripped off his shirt, desperate to feel his skin on mine. I was not disappointed. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and I could feel his biceps flexed around my. A subtle six-pack was apparent beneath hard pecs. My mouth literally watered.

"Take it off." I murmured in his ear. He obeyed and unhooked my bra, throwing it off somewhere in the room. His palms almost immediate cupped around my breasts as his mouth found mine again.

"Edward." I murmured into his mouth over and over again. I could feel his hardness rubbing against my thigh and I reached down to yank the mini skirt off, throwing it in the direction of my shirt and bra. I was now lying before him, wearing nothing but a thong. He wouldn't last long. I heard his breath hitch as he took me in.

"Thank you God." He murmured and began kissing down my stomach.

"Edward." I murmured again, threading my fingers in his soft hair. He was at the waistband of my panties now. His tongue flicked out, grazing right along it. "Please!" I moaned, gripping his hair tighter. He slowly pulled away my now soaked thong, running his hands up and down the insides of my thighs and causing me to gasp.

"Bella." He chuckled. "Beautiful." And then he started in on me. His tongue flicked across my clit, asking for entrance and being granted it. I gasped and pulled him closer. I nearly lost it as I felt his fingers slip in as well and begin pumping in and out and a horrifically slow pace.

"Edward." I said in a gasp. Hid fingers finally began stroking my G-spot faster, granting all my wishes for the moment.

"Edward!" I cried as my climax heightened. His reply was to pump faster and rub my clit vigorously. I yelled his name once more as I let go. The orgasm rocketed through my body unlike anything I had ever experienced before, leaving me gasping.

Before he could say anything, I had pulled his mouth back to mine and reached between us to unbuckle his pants. He seamed startled at my urgency but lifted his hips so I could yank his jeans off. I reached my hand into his boxers and stroked his hard length before pulling it out.

He was just about to enter, his eyes glued to mine full of lust, when he growled, "Shit!" And pulled away slightly. "I don't have a condom." He sighed.

"I'm on the pill." I said and then added, "And this will be the first time I don't use a condom." He sighed in relief and went back into position, hovering over me. I pulled him further until his tip was at my entrance.

"So beautiful." He murmured once more before thrusting into me. I gasped wildly and clung to his shoulders as he pounded into me. Hard.

"Edward, Edward, Edward!" I yelped with each of his thrusts.

"Bella…oh god!…this feels so….ungh!" He went impossibly faster and I was suddenly self-conscious if the neighbors could hear the bed pounding into the wall over and over again.

"EDWARD!" I screamed as we both orgasmed at the same time, clinging to each other for dear life. He rested his forehead against the crook of my neck as we came down from our high. "Edward." I whispered. He pulled out and pulled me to rest on his chest under the comforter.

"So beautiful." Was the last thing I heard before I slipped into unconsciousness.

I awoke to warm sunlight on my bareback. It was so warm and comfy in bed. Ah. Silence. Wait…what's that noise? Someone's…breathing?

I looked down to see an arm wrapped around my waist. A very strong, masculine arm. Oh, shit.

I snuck a glance over my shoulder, seeing what I expected. A sleeping Edward. I carefully sat up and looked around the room. There were clothes strewn _everywhere_! My bra was hanging on the side of a large, salt-water fish tank, one of the cups in the water. Great.

I slipped out of bed and quickly gathered my things, throwing my clothes on as I did.

_I should at least leave a note._

I sighed and found a pen. Since I was unable to locate a piece of paper, I used Edwards arm. I wrote as neatly as I could,

_Last night was fun. You can call me, or not._

_(206) 364-1946_

_-Bella_

I wrinkled my nose in disappointment at my note. That wasn't cute at all. Hmm. Ah-ha! I reached into my purse and pulled out my lipstick, proceeding to spread a thorough coat on my lips. I carefully lifted his arms and planted a small kiss next to my name, leaving clear lips marks. Now I could only hope he didn't roll over and smear it.

With one last glance I rushed out of his apartment, attempting to ignore the destruction we caused last night.

I was half way down the hall when I saw an old woman struggled with a huge box.

"Damn, delivery service!" She grumbled, trying to lift the box again.

"Do you need some help?" I asked, approaching her carefully.

"Oh. You're the young woman from last night." She said breathlessly, standing to look at me with bright blue eyes.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow in confusion. Was she crazy?

"The one that went home with Edward. You two kept me up all night, you know." She said with a chuckle.

_OH GOD!_

My I blushed profusely and stuttered for words.

"It's okay darling, I just hope you have more sense than to actually like him." She said, eyeing me with her sharp gaze. "Now, how about you give me a hand with this box?" She asked, motioning towards the box. I nodded and bent to pick up the surprisingly heavy box.

She led the way to the elevator, pushing the lobby button with a thin, wrinkled finger.

"I'm Martha, by the way." She smiled genuinely, bringing a smile to my face as well.

"Bella." I said, shaking her small hand. "Bella Swan.

"You're a lovely girl, not like the normal ones he brings home." She shivered in disgust. I laughed at her reaction. I liked her personalities.

When we reached the lobby, Martha said she could handle it from there.

"Thank-you again, Dear." She grunted as she towed the box down a hallway. I waved and smiled, walking into the sharp Seattle air.

Nessie was slumped on the couch when I got home, flipping through a Cosmo.

"Hey." I yawned, walking past her. She grunted in reply. I rolled my eyes and continued into the kitchen, gathering the supplies essential for making a peanut butter sandwich. Peanut butter and bread.

"So, you got laid last night?" Nessie asked, shuffling into the kitchen. I almost choked when I heard my little sister use the word, 'laid.' But, I decided to play it cool. Kinda.

"Yes, I had sex." I confirmed proudly.

"So, how was it?" She asked, sitting at the bar. I stood across from her and munched on my sandwich.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." I murmured around a mouth full.

"So he was hot?" She asked. I nodded vigorously. She smirked and smacked me a high five.

"It almost didn't happen though." I said, taking another bite.

"Why?"

"Well, he didn't have any condoms and I almost forgot that I had taken my pill this month." I chuckled. Nessie froze.

"What? He didn't use a condom?" She was turning deathly pale.

"No. But it's okay, I don't think he had any diseases." I said hurriedly, patting her shoulder. She brushed my hand off and hung her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"Prank gone horribly wrong." She groaned.

"What?" I looked at my sandwich to make sure there were no cockroaches or anything. We were in a fiery prank war and cockroaches wouldn't be surprising. I was startled when I saw tears drip from her cheeks to the counter top. "Nessie! What's wrong? Tell me!" I gasped, leaning towards her to try and look into her eyes.

"I…switched your birth control…" _Oh no! _"With tic-tacs." The sand witch dropped from my hand, landing with a soft thud on the linoleum.

"What?" I whispered, staring off to a spot behind her, unable to comprehend what was happening. I was vaguely aware of our dog, Jake, licking at the peanut butter on the ground. "What? What? What?" I just kept repeating it, staring off into space as I realized what happened.

Edward and I had vigorous, wild sex. And we had not birth control what's so ever. SHIT!

**Authors note: Writing made me feel a lot better! Sorry for the cliffie of sorts. Tell me if you want more.**


	2. Little Pink Plus Sign Of Doom

Authors note: Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm not sure how often I'll switch POV's but I will occasionally.

**EPOV**

**2. Little Pink Plus Sign Of Doom**

_I got la-a-a-aid! Oh yeah!_

I woke up in the morning feeling wonderful. And even better, the chic was already gone! I loved it when they just left like that.

I jumped out of bed, feeling energetic and chuckled at the sight of my destroyed apartment, she was a feisty one.

A quick glance at the clock showed I had an hour and a half until I needed to go to work. Enough time for a nice long shower.

I snorted when I saw the girls little note on my arm and quickly washed it away.

_Last night was fun. You can call me, or not._

_(206) 364-1946_

_-Bella_

"I'll choose '_Not' _Thank you very much." I sneered to my self. She wasn't even that hot. She was more of the pretty type. Though I did like it _a lot_ when she said my name over and over again.

I turned off the water and got out, wrapping a heavy towel around my waist. I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror and smirked. I was a very handsome man.

I quickly ate a yogurt and scratched Mow-mow, my cat, on the head before heading out the door. I had almost escaped to the elevator when I heard a very familiar, elderly voice behind me.

"Hello, Edward." Martha said, coming in with me. I smiled at the old women fondly.

"Hey Martha." I patted her shoulder.

"I met the young lady you were with last night. She said casually.

_Oh no._

"Really?" I sighed and leaned on the elevator wall.

"Yes. I like her. She is so sweet." Martha smiled smugly. "Just what you need to settle down."

"Ah, Martha, I've told you I have no intent on settling down until I'm at least thirty four." I grumbled. Her expression looked troubled.

"But, if you wait that long, you'll forget how to love. It's not something to take for granted, Edward." She said, staring intently into my eyes. _It's not something to take for granted._ Hm. What ever. I waved good-bye when the elevator doors opened and ran outside to hale a cab.

BPOV

_Shit_. _Shit._ _ Shit._

I bit my fingernail, staring blankly ahead.

"How long do you have to wait until you take a pregnancy test?" I murmured, still not averting my gaze from nothingness.

"I don't know. A week?" Nessie sighed from next to me on the couch.

"A week?!" I shrieked, finally turning to look at my sister. She put her hands up in surrender.

"Hey, I don't make the directions!" She yelled defensively.

"A business week or a normal week?" I asked, staring into space again. I heard nessie sigh impatiently.

"I. Don't. Know." She growled, slumping deeper into the couch cushions. "When are you going to tell him?" She asked, turning her body towards me.

"I'm not going to tell him a thing until I know for sure." I snapped. She was probably jinxing the pregnancy test by saying of those things. She rolled her heavily lined eyes at me.

"Come on! We both know you are probably pregnant." She scoffed, hitting my head with one of the couch pillows. I grumbled a few profanities under my breath and got up to go to the kitchen. I paced for a while until Nessie stopped me.

"Calm down!" She yelled, causing me to flinch. "What are you so worried about? It will be fine, I'm sure he's a nice guy."

EPOV

"Will you shut that thing up?" I snarled at the woman next to me, who was holding a wailing baby. God I hated children. I was almost ashamed I ever was one. She gasped and stormed out of our elevator she just walked in. Thank god.

"Eddie boy!" Emmett yelled, slipping through the elevator doors before they closed. "I missed ya last night bro! You left with the brunette chick." I grimaced slightly as he punched me in the arm…hard.

"Yeah, she was alright." I said with a shrug, pushing the twelfth floor button. Emmett snorted and sipped his coffee, reminding me that I didn't have mine yet. Someone was late, and that made me angry. I was supposed to have my coffee at seven thirty on the dot! Where was it?

_7 days later_

BPOV

"NESSIE!!" I screeched, fluttering around the apartment like a mad woman. My little sister came shuffling out of her bedroom, rubbing her eye grumpily and yawning.

"What?" She yawned. I noticed she was only wearing a dress shirt. A mans dress shirt.

"Why are you wearing men's clothing?" I asked, just as a half naked guy cam bustling out of her room, buckling his pants as he went.

"I'll call you!" He yelled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Nessie grumbled, plopping her self onto the couch.

"I have a You-Know-What." I whispered, scared I might jinx it. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What? You have a what? Is that code for Dick or are you just retarded?" She asked, stretching her arms above her head.

"No, a pregnancy test." I said even quieter and showed her the box. Her eyes bulged and she sat up.

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that." Nessie came over to me and put her bony arm over my shoulder. "Well go on." She said with a shove towards the bathroom when I didn't move. Begrudgingly, I made my way to the bathroom.

"How am I supposed to do this I yelled, looking at the little stick?

"Take a piss on the gray part of the stick and then wait like five minutes…wait…maybe not. I don't know!" Nessie called from the other side of the door. I looked at the instructions. They seemed simple enough. I sat on the toilet ad attentively peed on the part I was suppose to.

"Gross! I got some on me." I cried, wiping my hand with toilet paper. I heard her snicker. Bitch.

EPOV

That is one _hot_ secretary. I gazed longingly at the woman's ass as she bent over to grab a file for me. I'd tap that, all right. Mm, _mm!_ I wonder how many chicks I could bang tonight?

BPOV

"Hasn't it been five minutes?" Nessie sighed, shifting slightly on her perch on the counter. I ignored her and continued to stare at the pregnancy test, the side that showed if I was indeed pregnant _down_. "Oh for the love of all that is unholy!" Nessie snapped and ripped the pregnancy test out of my hand, replacing it right side up. "Is it a yay or a nay?" She asked slowly. I took a deep breath and glanced down to read it. And one, tiny little pink symbol, caused my whole, delicately built world to come crashing down on me.

_No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, _NO!

"Well would you look at that? It's the little pink plus sign of doom." Nessie murmured, glancing over my shoulder. I slumped onto the toilet seat, letting the pregnancy test clatter to the floor and stared blankly at our lemon yellow bathroom walls. "Hey, don't drop it. What if you want to put into a scrap book or something?" Nessie switched her voice to mimic an old lady's, "And this, Kids, is when I got knocked up with your mom." She croaked and then cackled wildly. I gazed up at her, still slack jawed. "Oh, lighten up. Just get an abortion and we can put this all behind us." Nessie chuckled and gave me a hug around the shoulders.

Suddenly, I began to think. I began to think of the little cell inside me, which would grow into a human someday. A human that would be a kid and go to school. A Kid who would become a teenager and have friends, go to parties, have a first kiss. A teenager who would go to college and get a degree in something they love to do and then proceed to grow into an adult, meet the love of there life, have their own children and, essentially, live happily ever after. A person's life was inside of me right now. A person was inside of me, as small as they may be; they are still in there. If I got an abortion, this little person would never experience that. They would never feel love, or anger, or sadness. They could never have a dog and a crappy, first apartment that they loved any way because it was their first one. And even though, I didn't know this person yet, I refused to snatch that away from them.

"No." I murmured. Nessie's eyes widened to an impossible size. "I'm not getting an abortion." I repeated.

"WHAT?!" She screamed, leaping to her feet. "Why?"

"It doesn't feel right." I murmured. She just rolled her eyes.

"I should have known." She grumbled under her breath and slumped down next to me. "Well…what are we going to do?" She asked, hugging me tightly.

"We are going to go to go to the store, pick up some healthy food instead of your Doritos and shit, and I am going to go tell…Edward…that he is a father." I replied steadily, taking charge and planning as I usually do.

"Well lets get crackin, muthah lickah!" Nessie exclaimed, hopping to her feet. I smiled slightly and stood next to her.

"Wait!" I yelled and grabbed my phone. "I need to call Alice. She should know." I explained and speed dialed Alice's number.

_"You've reached Moi." _Came her chipper answer.

"Alice?" I asked attentively.

"_Bellie Boo! To who do I owe this pleasure of a call?" _She practically purred.

"Remember that guy I went home with eight days ago and twelve thirty after I sent you home in a cab?" I asked in a rush.

_"Why are you always so exact?" _She grumbled.

"Alice!" I whined.

_"Fine! What about him?"_

"Well…we had…um…you know…"

_"Sex? Kahoochie? Fucked? Horizontal tango?"_

"Yes! What ever. Anyway…Well…I'm…I'm…"

_"Isabella Marie Swan, Spit it out before I die of old age." _She shouted.

"I'm…Pregnant." Came my breathy, weak reply.

_"………………………….." _Silence.

"Alice?" I asked quietly.

_"……………………………. Bella, can I be the god mother?" _Jesus Fucking Christ on a pogo stick! This is what she wants to know? Golly.

"Uh…Of course Alice." I choked out.

"_Wonderful! Oh my god! I need to go shopping for baby stuff! I saw this uber cute baby store at the mall! Also, I need to get you some maternity clothes, oh; also-" _I hung up on her and turned towards Nessie.

"Lets go." I grumbled and fallowed her out the door. She stopped suddenly, excitement in her eyes.

"Bella, I'm gonna be an Auntie!" She whispered, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. I didn't expect this kind of reaction from her and quickly gave her a huge, sisterly hug.

We finally, somehow, managed to find out where Edward worked, and were currently standing in the lobby of his huge office building. Turns out it is that huge black one you see right as you're driving into Seattle from the south. It looked very official and grown up, so of course me and Nessie stood out, Her in black army boots, a blue tutu skirt and plaid tank top, and me in a baggy sweat shirt, frayed jeans and a messy pony tail.

"Well, this is it." I murmured, placing a hand on my tummy and suddenly I wasn't sure if I was speaking to Nessie, My self, the baby or all three of us. Who ever it was, it comforted me to know I wasn't alone.

"It'll be fine." Nessie whispered, giving my ribs a nudge with her elbow. I nodded and headed towards the shiny elevators, stepping into an empty one. I didn't notice Nessie wasn't in with me until the doors were sliding closed and she was waving good-bye to me.

"You need to do this on you own." She called and I knew she was right. This was my mess; I needed to clean it up, at least partially. Although this was one stain that could never be bleached out.

When I reached the tenth floor the doors slid open and a _huge_ man walked in, his nose in the paper. He was so engrossed in the story he walked right into me.

"Whoa! Sorry, little lady!" He exclaimed in surprise, steadying me with one large hand.

"It's okay." I chuckled nervously.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you're about to go to your death sentence." He chuckled.

"Um…just…almost got ran over." I lied. _Smooth, Bella, Real Smooth. _He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything else.

"I'm Emmett." He shook my hand with out me offering it and gave me a big goofy grin. I instantly felt slightly better with this big, friendly giant.

"Bella." I responded, shaking his hand more firmly.

"What brings you here, Bella?"

"Umm…I need to speak to Edward Cullen." I stuttered and decided it was unnecessary for him to know the reason.

"Oh, sorry." He laughed loudly and I felt my self pale slightly. The doors slid open at the twelfth floor and I attentively stepped out of the elevator. I was in a very busy, fancy office, and nearly got stampeded by a herd of business-y looking people.

"Uh, Emmett, where is Mr. Cullen?" I whirled around to the big man who had stepped out behind me.

"I'm going there now, just fallow me." He said and led me through the maze of cubicles.

We finally reached a reddish, wood door that led into a room with a secretary.

"Hey Tanya." Emmett greeted the gorgeous woman as we passed. She gave a halfhearted wave, all the while scrutinizing me with her icy glare. I gulped loudly and rushed after Emmett though the second door.

_Now _this_ is an office. _

Floor to ceiling windows lined all of the exterior walls, expensive looking painting hung on the walls, a very high tech lap top sat on a paper covered, mahogany desk and a black leather couch was nestled in the far corner. I instantly recognized the man talking on the phone, his back facing us, by the mess of wild bronze hair on his head. Flashes of our night flooded my mind and I blushed, wondering if I could actually do this.

Emmett cleared his throat and his brother hung up the phone after saying a quick good-bye and turned to us expectantly. Until he saw me that his. Then his eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened and he stood straighter.

_What is his problem? Asshole._

I placed my hand on my abdomen again for reassurance.

"Hey bro!" Emmett crowed and punched Edward in the arm fondly. Edward didn't even flinch; he just kept on glaring at me. I was getting very uncomfortable.

"Hello, Emmett." Edward responded quietly in an icy tone.

"This little lady wants to see you. You know her?" Emmett helped him self to some almonds in a dish on Edward's desk and flopped onto the couch.

"Somewhat." Edward Answered with a curt nod. "What do you want?" He was addressing me now and I jumped slightly.

"Uh…Can we speak privately?" I asked attentively.

"Anything you have to say can be said in front of my brother." He growled.

_BROTHER?!!! Oh god!_

"Well…okay." I swallowed again and shifted, "Erm…the other night…well…I…" _Jesus Bella! Just spit it out. _I rubbed my belly slightly.

"I don't have all day." He said in an impatient tone. Bastard.

"I know…and I don't mean to intrude into your life…I'm…I'm…pregnant." I croaked. "And you're the father."

I do not think I have ever someone's eyes get so wide. I was actually afraid Edward's eyeballs would pop out of their sockets. Emmett though laughed his ass off.

"Holy shit, Bro! I'm outta here!" And with that he practically skipped out of the office. He suddenly peaked back in and snickered, "I'm an Uncle!" And then disappeared again, his statement reminded me a bit of Nessie's. Edward suddenly fell into his desk chair and pulled out a bottle of whisky.

"Oh." He murmured and took a chug. I winced at the though of how much that must burn. Suddenly his gaze was fiery. "I thought you were on the pill! You said you were!" He yelled, causing me to flinch.

"I was! My sister switched my pilled with tic-tacs!" I shouted back at him defensively. He groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"I cannot have this happen!" I suddenly felt a flare of anger and covered my belly with both hands, trying to protect the little one inside of me.

"You know, you aren't' the only one affected by this!" I grumbled. He barked out an un-amused laugh.

"Are you the CEO of one of the most important business's in the city?" I slowly shook my head. "Then shut the fuck up."

_Ouch._

"You're even more full of your self when you're sober." I said boldly, holding my own in this battle of words.

"You're even more annoying when you're sober." He snapped back.

"If you hate me so much, then why did you sleep with me?" I snarled back.

"If I have a chance to fuck a girl I take-" I slammed out the door before he could finish his sentence. He was just an arrogant Ass hole! I patted my Belly.

_We don't need him, we'll be fine._

And yet, as I stood fuming in the elevator, I couldn't help but wonder if the baby would have green eyes and bronze hair. Just like their Daddy.


	3. This Place Sucks Cow Nipples

Authors note: LOLZ! You guys rock! Okay, everyone is saying that Edward is, indeed, an Ass. He is suppose to be because…well that's just what I decided. Like when Bella is finding out if her life was about to be ruined or not, he was checking out his secretary's ass? Yeah, total Jack Ass. But do not fret! Nessie is coming to the rescue! Muhahahahahahaha……………………..ha.

Oh, and I got a few angry messages regarding Jake. Yes, he is their dog, sorry! I had no where else to put him and well, it just seemed to fit! Please don't pummel me! (Hides under desk and goes into fedal position) I swear he is a well loved dog! Oh and he will still hate Edward. Leave some love! Love ya! Muwah!

**EPOV**

**3. This Place Sucks Cow Nipples  
**

_Shit. This is bad, this is _so_ bad! She can't be knocked up! It-it-it-it just can't happen!_

I slumped even further into my office chair and massaged my temples. _Maybe I could just give her some cash and send her on her way. Yeah, I think I'll do that._

I was just about to pull out my check book when my office door burst open to reveal a panting girl clad in punk rock clothing. Her died red hair hung in a frenzy around her pale, narrow face. She seemed strangely familiar.

"Can I help you?" I asked slowly, confused.

"You sure as hell can, Pretty Boy! I want you to shut that fucking mouth of yours and listen! I don't take any shit so don't try making excuses, you here me?" She slammed the door closed on the faces of almost everyone watching and stalked towards my desk. Her hands planted on my lap top, making it snap shut and lowered her face to my level, glaring menacingly.

"Any one who fucks around with my sister fucks around with me and I am one psycho bitch. I don't care who the fuck you think you are, I will end you, you here me?" I nodded quickly, slightly frightened by this tiny person. "If you ever, _ever_, talk to my sister like that again, I will rip your testicals out and feed them to my dog! If you could keep your dick in your pants for five seconds, we wouldn't be in this mess _would we_?" I shook my head no, still quiet. "And don't think about just bailing out! This as much as your fucking problem as it is hers! You will help her, you understand me?! If you just disappear I will hunt you down and you will be sorry you didn't stick around for this kid because I will make you sterile and it will be the only one you got!" She stood and straitened her slightly ruffled hair. "Thank-you for your time." She whirled around and slammed out the door. I was just about to relax when she stuck her head back in and said, "Oh; and don't think I don't know who your father is." And then she slammed the door again. I vaguely heard cheers and applauding from my employees as she walked toward the elevators.

I don't know how long I sat there, slack jawed and dumbfounded. No one had ever talked to me like that. People did what I said with out a moments hesitation, they didn't yell at me.

And then I realized; Bella's sister had just put me in _my_ place in this whole baby fiasco. And it sucked.

BPOV

"What the fuck is this shit?" Nessie grimaced, holding up the tub of hummus I had thrown in the cart.

"It's hummus." I answered, grabbing some organic apples and putting them in a produce bag.

"I am not eating this shit. This looks like bird crap." She let it drop back into the cart and glanced around the fruit section. "What is _up_ with this place? All this healthy shit."

"It's an organic health food store…_there's gonna be a lot of health shit._" God my sister can be slow sometimes. Nessie rolled her eyes and snorted.

"Well can _I_ at least get some stuff that _I_ like?" She whined.

"No, then I might be tempted."

"But isn't that one of the things about being pregnant? You crave a whole bunch of shit and then pig out on it?" Nessie tied her hair back into a pony tail as she spoke.

"I don't know! I don't know anything about this!" I cried dropping my head onto the handle bar of the cart.

"Well, lets go get some real food for lunch, and then we'll drop by the doctors and he'll give you one of those lists of what you can and what you can't eat, okay?" Nessie patted my shoulder and led me towards the grocery store doors, abandoning our cart of food.

We ended up at our favorite sushi place on Queen Ann. The smell of rice and fish enveloped around us when we walked in and I tried not to gag. I loved the taste of sushi, not the smell.

"Welcome to Sushi Land, table for two?" A bored woman asked behind the front counter. We nodded and fallowed as she led us to a booth next the conveyor belt.

"Sushi, Sushi, Sushi!" Nessie trilled like an excited five year old. I chuckled and pulled out my phone when I felt it vibrate in my pocket.

Alice

"Hello?" I answered.

_"Hey! How fat do you think you'll get?"_ Alice practically yelled.

"How should I know Alice?" I asked, annoyed with the crudity of her question.

"I don't know Alice. I've had a hard day."

_"Why? What happened?" _She was suddenly caring now. About time.

"I went to meet with Edward." I sighed.

_"And it went bad?" _She asked. I proceeded to tell her about the whole ordeal, including the hurtful things he said.

_"That asshole!" She screeched._

"Alice-" But she has already hung up. What was she going to do?

I wriggled on the noisy paper covered examining table as I waited for the doctor. Nessie had gotten kicked out of the hospital shortly after she explained I 'Got knocked up by a butt munch and we were wondering when the thing was gonna pop out.' Very charming.

The door swung open and in walked one hunk of a man. Hubba hubba.

"Hello, Ms. Swan." He greeted, glancing over a file in his hand.

"Call me Bella." I breathed. He looked up and smiled. Why was he so smiley?

"Okay, Bella, then you can call me Carlisle. Since I'll be your doctor through out the pregnancy I want to make sure we are comfortable with each other." I nodded, slightly dazed. "Good, now, how far along are you?" He asked, pulling out a pen.

"Umm, eight days. Well technically seven since the baby was...umm...conceived after midnight." I rambled.

"Lets just go with eight days." Carlisle chuckled. "So, that means the baby's do date should be....hmm...around July twenty-seventh." He handed me sheet of paper. "Here are some Do's and Dont's during the pregnancy. Will father be involved?" He asked, looking up. I was baffled by the question. Shouldn't that be private? He read my expression and smiled. "I need to have him sign this. Incase you didn't make it through the pregnancy-which is very, very uncommon so don't panic- we have permission for him to take the child. We also need to know who to call if you go into labor and no one is here." He explained.

"Oh...umm...I'm not sure." I said, wrinkling my forhead in comprehesion.

"Do you know...who the father is?" He asked more quietly.

"Yes." I grumbled. "Some prick who doesn't give a rats ass and is worried more about how this will mess up his career then how it will mess up my life, Other people know him as Edward Cullen, I guess." The doctors eyes widened and his jaw locked when I said Edwards name and I got a strange feeling that he knew him.

"Right. Well, Come back in seven weeks for a check-up and ultra scan." He said and got up to leave. Hmm. That was strange.

I made my way through the hospital doors, mulling over how the doctor reacted when I told him who the dad was.

"Thank god! Lets get out of here, this place sucks cow nipples." Nessie bellowed from the hood of our old, rusty orange Chevy truck.

**A/N: Sorry! I know this chapter is super short, but I really wanted to get it posted. I have relented to my over active imagination and decided to start a few more story's. I posted one called Mafia Boy And Bread Girl, so check that out. Also I'll be starting **_**another **_**one called Unbreakable. Here's the full length summary that no way in hell will fit in the little box the provide me with:**

_**Bella Swan is a danger to herself and others. There is no other way to put it, she almost gets killed on a regular basis. So, she is assigned a guardian angel. Little does this guardian Angel know, he has to protect her from more than just physical damage. Carlisle, who is 'the boss'-if you will- informs his son that this will be no ordinary job. Usually guardian angels just make sure nothing horrific happens to the person and go on their way, but with Bella, Edward has to actually interact with her, become her friend. He begrudgingly excepts and watches out for her. But then, he has to go along for her family road trip. With out making him sel- known to the rest of her family. **_

_**As he saves this quirky girls life over and over again, he begins to fall head over heals for her. **_

_**Filled with laughs and drama!! Lemons!! **_


	4. Are you confused yet? Good

Authors note: Heres chapter…3? No, 4! Yay!!!!!! Okay, we get to start seeing a different side of Edward.

EPOV

4. Are You Confused Yet? Good.

_God, yes!_

The girl who was currently straddling my lap reached down and rubbed my erect number. And, oh, it felt good.

"What do you want me to do?" She whimpered in my ear and continued to suck my neck. I was about to answer with something very dirty when my cell phone rang. Damn it! It was my fathers ring tone too.

I sighed and shoved the girl off. She landed on her ass with an, '_oof!'_ I turned my desk chair around and snaped open my phone.

"What?" I practically growled.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" My father responded with just as much hostility. I rifled through the things in my mind that I wasn't suppose to do and could get in trouble for. There were a lot but nothing he would know about.

"Uh…not that I'm aware of." I said slowly.

"Damn it! Edward Anthony Cullen, would you like to explain to me why a young girl came to my hospital tpday, pregnant with _your_ child?!" He yelled. I felt like all my internal organs were about to explode out of my ass. Fuck.

"Uh…" Was the brilliant answer I came up with.

"Get you sorry ass to the house _right now_ for a god damn family meeting." And then he hung up. I felt like digging a hole, crawling in and never coming out again. But I knew if I didn't do what he said, he would hunt me down and hang my out by my testicles with the laundry to dry. So, I gulped and summoned all my man hood from bottom to top and walked out of my apartment. The girl had already left when I was on the phone, saying something about my lack of respect to woman. What ever.

Bella POV

"Nessie, will you _please_ turn down the music?" I yelled. When she didn't respond I added, "It's bad for the baby!"

"Pfft! He doesn't even have ears! Besides, Don't you want him to have a good taste in music?" She called back but reluctantly turned the music down.

"Thank-you. What makes you so sure it's a boy any way?" I breathed, looking out the car window as I spoke.

"I just gotta feeling. Hey, are hamburgers on that list you got?" She asked, grabbing the list of foods to eat the doctor gave me. I grabbed it out of her hands since she was attempting to read it while driving.

"We just ate!" I cried.

"Yeah, like two hours ago." She scoffed. "So…whats happening with your baby daddy?"

"I don't know." I sighed and rubbed my temples. "I'm sure he wants nothing to do with this kid." Alice snorted when I said that and I cast a side long look at her. "What?"

"Nothing. I just…might have…erm…you know…scared him into being a part of the baby's life." She murmured.

"WHAT?!!" I screeched, causing her to cringe. "WHY?"

"I was mad at him for-"

"That doesn't matter!! You should have asked me first!" I screamed and smacked her shoulder.

"Hey! No beating on the driver!" She yelled, fending me off with one hand. "Besides, it's for the best, right?" I suppose she had a point. I slumped back into my seat with a huff.

"Oh," I sat up again, remembering, "We have to go to those pregnancy class things every Thursday. I forget what they're called." I said, smirking when my sister let out a groan.

"Why do I have to go?" She whined.

"Because, I don't think Edward will want to change a diper, let alone take classes on it and I need a partner." I laughed.

"Everyone will thing we're lezbo's though."

"Probably." I shrugged and placed a hand on my abdomen. "But I still need to know what I'm doing."

……………………………………………………………

**A/N: Yeah I know, really realy short! But I tried to write as much as possible, honestly!! But, alas, I didn't. I was in a rush because I'll be traveling for the next two weeks. Sorry! I debated finishing this chapter or just posting it now and I figured you guys needed at least a little something for when I was gone, so ya. **

**Love ya! Muwah! Review my pretyy's!**


	5. LONG ASS APOLOGY

**LONG ASS APOLOGY**

**Ehem....I. Am. A. Bitch. I'm so so so sos so so so so so so so so sorry!!! I completly forgot about this account and all of my WONDERFUL reviewers! OH MY GOD IM AWFUL! Please forgive me. *cringes from your beating sticks* But I am here to make a promise. I promise I will work on each of my stories now. **

**I pledge to honor your reviews**

**When I post something new**

**I pledge to continue with daddyward**

**And to move on with mafiaward**

**And to tell more of Copward**

**I promise to love Jacob**

**So that he and Vivian may find Lub**

**I vow to use more Nessie**

**So she can beat on Edward the pussy**

**I Promise to Reveal Vivians true form**

**And snuggle up to Jacobs Abs, nice 'n warm**

**I pledge to have Bella pop out a baby**

**And Daddyward will finally be nice...maybe.**

**I promise Officer-yummy pants**

**Will soon have Bella in his pants**

**I vow to update weekly**

**Even if I am sickly**

**I pledge to tell about muscles**

**Tan and pale**

**Hot and cold**

**Bitchy and Kind**

**So with that**

**I hope you can all rest with peace at mind**

**Because I love you all**

**Like bad rhyming in the fall**

**So dont show your hate**

**Because I've been an ignorant bitch of late**

**Okay guys! love ya! I prolly faked you all out thinkin I updated....Sorry. BUT I WILL BE POSTING SOON! Check out my profile for the story schedule. I LOVE YOU GUYS SOO MUCH! STICK WITH ME!!  
**


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